reducing friction

and my case for doing less

I used to be full of good intentions. I would tell myself every new year that I was going to change myself fundamentally to be a more organised and efficient person. Unfortunately, for me, it would never work. I found myself caught in a cycle where I judged myself harshly, made big life changes that were tough to sustain, and then, when things didn’t work out, I couldn’t help but feel guilty. It seemed like I kept getting back to the starting point again and again.

One day, on one of my unhinged doom scrolls, a TikTok about the concept of reducing friction snuck into my algorithm. It was mostly about the friction of physical things in the home that can limit someone with neurodivergence from living an organised life. But the concept of it overall really interested me and made me reflect on all areas of friction in my life. I’ve come to believe that for me, friction is the gap between intention and action. I sit in that gap a lot, and it was only reflection and self-kindness that helped me find a method that made things I wanted and needed to do a bit easier. We have been taught that making things easy is lazy, and I don’t think that is true at all. I think it helps reduce mental load and makes room for things that you can dedicate commitment to. Friction is healthy; it is necessary, but reducing it for me has had some really positive effects. Here’s what that has looked like for me.

Starting the New Year in Spring

I decided a few years ago that I wasn’t starting my new year in January; for me, it starts in spring. Instead of fighting against January, I now ease into it. Do I think about goals and dreams and plans? Yes, but I do it when I have more energy and headspace. January is a tough time for me; I struggle with the dark days and the never-ending rain. I let myself sink into the winter season instead of fighting against it. When spring comes and the days get longer, and the sun shines more than it does in the winter, I have space for improvement. Plus a mad *nobody can know we live here* spring house clean. Winter is for rest, Spring is for renewal.

No Fold Wardrobe Method.

I know there will be someone reading this in horror behind the screen, but one of my biggest shame points is that I struggle to keep things tidy. I hate putting away clothes. I feel a visceral rage-y reaction when I have to hang them on a hanger, and they fall off. I hate looking for things I have lost because they have no real home to go to. And I beat myself up so much because it just does not come naturally to me to be an organised person. (fyi I am two years into a wait for an ADHD diagnosis, which might explain some of this.

I tried every kind of wardrobe organisation, the fancy, chic-to-look-at kind. The Marie Kondo kind. I even paid a personal organiser to reorganise it for me, and it remained tidy for the grand total of 1 month. I just wasn’t able to upkeep it, and that made me feel like a useless lazy person. It wasn’t until I watched a video titled “ Organisation for People with ADHD that it finally clicked. I needed to find something that works for me, something that forces me to work for it. So I reorganised the entire space. I took out the hanging rails and instead installed baskets and bins with labels. I created a space for e-v-e-r-y-t-h-i-n-g so that when I am putting away my washing, everything has a home. No more turning the house upside down to find a specific pair of jeans because I know they are in their dedicated jean basket drawer. I follow a no-fold method, which means I can just place things in without folding when I don’t have capacity, but when I do, I can easily do so because everything is there.

Designated dump zones

This is much like the above point, creating zones in the house to capture the mess, making finding things much easier. For example, our entryway has a dumping bowl for keys, and it’s where I intentionally keep things I need for when I leave the house: hand cream, mints, lip balm, and a perfume in case I forgot to put some on when I was getting ready.

Simplifying my skincare | AD + AFF |

This is a new introduction for me; part of my job means receiving items to review and share, and skincare products are one of them. Lately, (I am assuming because of age and my skin changing), my skin isn’t doing too well with too much, so I am giving Skin + Me a go. I know so many friends who use this IRL and have seen such great results from stripping everything back, whilst also using active ingredients that help the skin be its best. It’s kinda cool how it works: you have a consultation with a member of the dermatology team, you send them photos, you choose your skincare goals, and then they design the best treatment plan. Part of reducing friction for me is making things simpler so that they can be done. Having something that is well-researched, has science-backed ingredients, and that I only need to use in the evening in one Daily Doser does make things feel a lot easier. I was especially into the fact that I could try some stronger actives safely and with ease. Having one thing to push and place on my skin for now feels like a good move, and although I haven’t been using it long enough to share any results, I will most definitely check back in.

If you are interested in trying, then they have kindly given me a code where you can get your first Daily Doser for just £ 4.99 and £24.99 ongoing.
USE CALLIESUB in checkout.

Keeping things where they make sense

Keeping things out and visible helps me use them, and even more so if they are easy to access. I don’t take a lot of supplements, but when I do, it’s in a place that makes sense. I put my powdered supplements by the coffee machine so that if I make a coffee, I am reminded to add my collagen into it. I put my supplements in the kitchen, as that is where the glasses are to make a drink, because there is no way I am drinking bathroom water. I also bought one of those handy supplement boxes, so I have everything I need easily and not in multiple tubs. I put my Kindle next to my bed, so when I actually act like an adult and go to bed early, I can read. Chargers are also in every room, which has been a game-changer.

Meal prep ingredients VS Meal Prepping

I can’t lie, eating the same meal three days in a row is just not for me. I can’t do it. By day three, everything starts to feel a bit soggy and sad. Cooking is the one thing I do actually enjoy (the cleaning up after I have annihilated the kitchen, not so much). Switching to meal prepping ingredients vs the entire thing has been a really big improvement. Instead of making one big salad that slowly rots in the fridge, I prep ingredients that will help me make one if I fancy it. That looks like for me roasting up some sweet potato, batch cooking quinoa or any grains and cooking some proteins that I can use to build different bowls or easy noodle soups. Other things I like to prep are pickled pink onions, spicy cucumbers, and already steamed broccoli. A pre-made seed mix to top on salads or breakfast, and a big tub of stewed apple because it is the best with yoghurt or on top of porridge! If I have capacity, I will make some savoury muffins to have as an easy-to-go snack. I love making full meals from scratch for dinner, but having some easy, healthy options ready to go for lunch or when we’re about to order Deliveroo is a win for us in our house

Having a travel bag ready to go

Travelling multiple times in a year and often with short notice has meant in the past complete and utter chaos for me. I, unfortunately, am that person who leaves it till the night before to pack (this drives Dan up the wall). I wrote about finding the best travel bag in my actually useful travel items post, and now I keep the majority of it packed and stored in my wardrobe so that when I need to go on a trip, I don’t need to spiral trying to find things that I would only need for a flight. The same goes for having a designated travel drawer. This is unnecessary for most people, but for me, it is useful. Keeping everything I may need in one place just helps reduce that friction and annoyance when I have to pack for a trip.

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These are just some small adjustments I am making to my life to help me. Is there anything you do to reduce friction in your life? Tell me below or over in the chat.